Trip to Reno

I am excited tommorow Melissa is driving me to Reno to pick up Izzy. The only thing that may stop me is a severe relaps with MS and I am thinking positive that all will be well and I will be able to travel. The past few days have been pretty much the same thing over and over...fatigue and vision issues with a few bouts of vertigo to top it all of. The medications all have side effects that that kind of create or make the symptoms worse, but I am walking pretty good and I have most of the use of my right hand back so I guess I am greatful for that. I hope that the weekly shots will slow this down so I can have more normal productive days at least that is the hope.
It was kind of funny I was talking to my rep from one of my insurance disability companies on the phone the other day and she said even though my nurologist has me off until at least June she wants me to call her in 6 weeks to talk about my progress because their goal is to get me back to work. It really made me laugh because I would give anything not to have MS and be able to work. Does she really think I like living like this? Every morning I wake up and the 1st thing I do is check my arms and legs to see if I have use of them. Then I try to stand up to see if I have vertigo or not and if not I try to walk, yeah her goal is to get me back to work....if she were in front of me I would have smacked her!

ms is so much fun

I try to figure out if there is some pattern to this so I can figure out when things are going south but there is no pattern. It is the most unpredictable disease. The symptoms come and go without warning. Right before I did the whole back surgery I felt like I was on my way to a remission and then whoops 5 steps backwards. WTF?
On the lighter side there is only 17 days until I go to Reno to pick up Izzy.

fatigue is the issue of the day

I would like to have just one day that I feel normal, I dont remember what normal is but I would like to get back there. Fatigue is heavy today. I took my shower and needed to nap because it exhausted me. I was careful to take a luke warm shower because I have learned that hot showers just cause your systems to escalate and yet the fatigure jumped out even though I followed the rules. Melissa wanted to go grocery shopping and that is my highlight of the week so I only napped for 30 minutes then got dressed to go to the store. I really like going to the store because I can walk with the shopping cart and it keeps my balance and I feel like I am doing something normal and I look normal. I know pretty sad but that is my life now.

We got home and it really did be in so I needed to sleep for 3 hours to regroup after spending all of that energy. We still need to do a Costco run but that may have to wait until tomorrow. my back pain seems to be getting better each day so I guess the burning of the nerves may be working. or perhaps I am just hopeful LOL.

I dont know if I mentioned that I lost Brodie at Christmas. He was so old and just stopped eating so we made the decision that it was time for him to go to heaven. I decided to buy a Mini Aussie this time becase with all of my balance issues Tye can easily pull me off my feet at 65lbs, dont get me wrong I wouldnt trade him for anything in the world because he is so loyal and protective of me. I never worry about anyone getting near me or breaking into the house. So Tye is going to have to give up the title of Baby Boy since at 6 years old he no longer fits that title. I am going to train the Mini that I named Izzy to be more of a service dog for me. He is still at the breeder because he is just 5 weeks old but will be home in 3 weeks and I cant wait. I think the most important thing that he will learn is to get Melissa and get my phone in emergencies. If I fall or have a vertigo attack I am pretty confused and disoriented and if he can learn to fetch Melissa or my phone that can be life saving for me. So welcome Izzy to my loving home.

today is going to be a good day

I woke up with little back pain and use of both hands and legs so things are looking up. I think I will try to get some house work done and if I am not off balance take the dog on a walk.

another day another challenge

I woke up today in too much back pain to do much so I took a pain killer and went back to bed I only got up to let Tye outside I sure hope this new procedure they did with burning the nerves solves the pain. Dealing with MS is bad enough without the back pain added in. I will know in the next few weeks.
I guess I should explain that with the MS the syptoms dont happen to me all at the same time, they come and go. How intense they are come and go too so there is no consistent way to measure how good your day or week is going to be....or your hour. Some of the symptoms switch on and off like a light switch.

one more thing

I forgot to add that the MS has impacted my eye sight and my memory and ability to do simple tasks so please be patient with my blogging

what has happened in he last year of my life?

Lets see, I stopped the trip and got a job at Five9 and with the new insurance I wanted to get my arthritis under control so I started to go back to Kaier. To make a very long story short I changed doctors and went to a new GP who was finally able to listen to my concerns and not push them off to Old Age or arthritis. She sent me to a spine specelist is Martinez who ordered x-rays and MRIs. Results were in ... it wasnt just old age or arthritis I had fractured my spine dureing one of my accidents, either the horse accident or the car accident. What do you know I was right there was more going on than simple age related issues or arthritis. They decided to do a block to help with the pain with the fracture and unfortunately the block was able to stop the pain but did not stop other issues I was experiencing like tripping and being off balance.

So another MRI this time of my neck to see if there was a pinched nerve in my neck and this MRI opened another can or worms....it had signs of Multiple Schlerosis. I was in shock to say the least. They referred me from the spine clenic to a Neurologist who ordered more tests to confirm her suspecions. The brain MRI showed more signes so she ordered a whole bunch of blood work and a spinal tap.

All tests confirmed Multiple Sclerosis. Unknown what causes it and no cure. To say the least I was really really pissed. What have I done to deserve this? I have always been a great mother and a hard worker. I thought I had paid all my dues in life but there I was hearing the diagnosis and thinking to myself they had the wrong person.

They didnt and it has been a rollercoaster ever since. It started with a leak in my spinal fluid afer the tap. Did you know that your brain floats in fluid and when it leaks out it just kind of bangs around in your knoggen and it really hurts. This was my 1st experience with a migrane headache. It lasted almost 3 days and I couldnt take it anymore and went to the emergency room. They said they had to do an emergency blood patch to stop the leak. I will save all of the nasty details but in short it was not pleasent. This episode with all of the stress and pain sent me into my very 1st MS relaps.

I remember thinking that I must be having a stroak or something because my right leg and had were not working right. My leg dragged and my hand was not fully functional. Additionally I was skipping time in my head, loosing words and not being able to find what I wanted to say. They treated me with a steroid treatment and I was 75 percent over these symptoms within a week. Then the fatigue set in and I found it very hard to concentrate and stay awake.

One month later relaps number 2 hit and this one scared me more than anything ever has in my life. I got up about 6am and took the dogs out and went back to bed for a few minutes. When my alarm went off I looked toward the right where my phone was and the entire room swooped around. I tried to sit up and the room kept moving and I immediately started to throw up. I couldnt stop the vertigo and I couldnt stop getting sick. I remember thinking to myself what if this does not stop? Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? Can I live with this? My daughter got me into the living room into a recliner and I found one position that there was no vertigo. I sat in that same spot for 3 days before the vertigo subsided enough that I could walk along the walls of the house from room to room. The doc said no more steriods this soon so I would just have to wait this out. It slowley went away enough that I could function enough to shower and dress and walk a few feet unassisted.

One month later I started to get a very frequent electrical shock pain in my right cheek. It got so intense i couldnt think clearly. My neurol0gist said yet another symptom of MS and gave me a Med they give to people that have epilepsi. this immediately made me sick and a dog and make my right side weak and dragging again. But the paid stopped LOL so I backed down the meds and started even slower than perscribed, This seemed to work and i am getting stronger and stonger on my right side.

Now back to the back pain, they told me it looks like nerve paid from the injury and "most likey" not MS related but I did have spinal leasions fromt he MS so could be. So the Block did not work so now I am back to the spinal cleanic to get RFA which is a nice way to say they went in and Burned the Nerves in my back.

I am hopeful although they said it can take two weeks for it to show success. So unfortunately the stress from the procedure led me to a setback with my MS. I felt like I was getting stronger but I am back to where I was a month ago.

I am off work until at least June but I cant ever see being able to hold down a job at this time in my life. I am afraid to drive because of my vertigo and dizzyness, I am afraid to be alone outside because I am afraid to fall. This pretty much sucks........and to top it all off Brodie died about a month ago. Old age stuff but it still hurts.

So as a happy Birthday to me and to try to get myself out of this damn funk I have been in for months ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I bought a puppy. This is Izzy a blue merle Mini Australian Shepherd that is him at the top left